We all wish to lead happy and fulfilling lives but sometimes our circumstances do not let that happen.
With increasing urbanization there has been a rise in migration maybe to pursue better education or better career prospects .At the same time there has been a spurt of unlimited social opportunities around us, and we might feel left out when we do not have a special social connection while others flaunt theirs on social media.
This leads to a feeling of being isolated and lonely amidst the chaos of the urban jungle, basically an uneasy combination of being exposed and isolated both at the same time.
Loneliness is an acutely painful state that can feel very embarrassing and uncomfortable to live in.
In fact, according to Gretchen Rubin, the celebrated author of “The Happiness Project”-“One major challenge within happiness is loneliness “.
Loneliness should not be confused with solitude which is a chosen circumstance that is peaceful and recreational while “Loneliness” drains us emotionally and feels like a black hole, sapping us off energy and joy.
Loneliness can be due to many reasons –
Migration – Be it for education or jobs or relocation, one loses the touch of the special people who were unconditionally there for you. Forging new ties takes time and effort and most importantly trust. Trust does not grow overnight and one has to work at forming new relationships.
Cultural and Socio-Economic differences – Difference in social and cultural origins etc. leads to difference in opinions and beliefs, making it difficult to find like-minded people around you. Opposites may attract, but that is generally short lived, one needs a cohesive, binding force and common grounds for long lasting relationships.
Busy schedules – Sometimes we may find the right people but our busy schedules may not allow us to connect as much as we want.
Death or separation from a spouse – Let us not forget that a sizeable population of young adults is now battling divorce or separation and some of the mature adults too have to deal with loneliness arising from the death of their spouse.
To be happy, we need intimate bonds with people we can confide in, we need to feel loved and feel cared for by someone;we need to feel that we belong; we need to be able to get and give support in times of crises. In fact strong relationships can be the key to a happier life!
How can one combat loneliness and create that much sought happiness?
1. Nurturing and caring for others – Caring for someone be it an elderly or caring for a pet — helps to alleviate loneliness and makes you feel appreciated.
2. Create your own tight social circle – Having just one of two good friends may still not fill the gap and may leave you feeling lonely many people need both a social circle and an intimate attachment so it is important to have a close knit group of friends or community.
3. Sleep Well – Sleep deprivation brings down people’s moods, makes them more likely to get sick and dampens their energy, so it’s important to have a good night’s sleep that you rise with a sunny mood and we all want to be around happy and positive people, don’t we?
4. Try to figure out what’s missing from your life – You may want a friend, a roomie or love in your life to fill the loneliness. Figure out what you are missing and then try to find possible solutions to that problem.
5. Take steps to connect with other people (to state the obvious) -Show up, make plans, sign up for a class,and take a minute to chat. The idea is to try and find new connections.
In fact the same technology that can make us feel exposed and lonely can also help us in filling the void if used constructively.
The internet has a host of social networking sites, dating websites and online dating apps that can cater to your needs once you have identified them.
Personally I am wary of websites that focus only on physical appearance or hook ups. I would prefer to be able to look up for like-minded persons who share my passions like books, trekking, traveling etc. …
An online dating app should respect a women’s privacy and at the same time allow her to choose whom she wants to connect with.
I am not picture perfect nor do I look great in selfies,so I need an App that understands that and shows the real me beneath the touched up surface to the world and gives me the flexibility to choose my date upon not just on one or two perfectly filtered pictures but traits , common likes etc. basically something that gives weightage to #substanceoverselfies
A platform like #Okcupid (yes it is now coming to India in a big way though it has been around for a long time)that helps in finding compatible partners not necessary a life partner but maybe a partner in crime!
That special someone that can be considered for serious dating and not just a one night stand.
A person with whom you can connect over coffee and share jokes and who knows what else!
I have tried a few dating apps and #OKCupid fills the gap between the plain old matrimonial websites and sleazy hook upsites. It is an App that encourages serious dating and offers you the opportunity to make meaningful connections with the person of your choice.
If you find yourself lonely or need a mate, you might want to check this app #OKcupid here, you can also check out their Instagram account – Okcupid_India to get a feel of this App.
So what are you waiting for …
Choose to be happy today – after all you deserve better!